Friday, June 29, 2012

Bullies on the Bus – Bullies in the Boardroom!


I’m sure you’ve seen it in the news, or at least heard about it - the bullied bus monitor. A bus monitor, 68 year old Karen Klein, was bombarded with a stream of profanity, insults, jeers and physical ridicule by multiple middle school kids as she rode the bus. I’ll spare the specifics as to the obscenely rude and hurtful remarks uttered by these kids – one, because it really angers me personally and professionally, and two, because you can find what they said in the cell phone video and in various news stories.


Though as an organization development practitioner and trained behavioral scientist, and someone who works with organizations and the people in them – this story did get me thinking, both about today’s youth and tomorrow’s leaders. You see they are one in the same - and that’s a bit concerning to me. Bullies on the bus can become bullies in the boardroom.

"The serial bully, who in my estimation accounts for about one person in thirty in society, is the single most important threat to the effectiveness of organisations, the profitability of industry, the performance of the economy, and the prosperity of society."


- Tim Field


Now, I’m not saying all kids are bullies, and I’m not saying all kids will grow up to be leaders (sorry to all those parents out there giving gold stars for every little thing, but c’mon, seriously). However, I am saying that as these bully kids grow up, and begin to enter into our larger and diversified global business world, they’re going to have to learn some tolerance, respect, and understanding for others– not to mention some self awareness - particularly those who want to become quality leaders!

So a bit of advice on why not to be a bully leader:

  • People may do what you want if you bully them, they may be intimidated by you, though they will most likely never respect you. Without mutual respect, you usually can’t have an honest and trusting relationship – the type that is really productive both personally and professionally.



  • Bullied people are usually not happy people. Unhappy people are usually not engaged people. Lower employee morale and lower employee engagement contribute to lower customer satisfaction and lower customer satisfaction contributes to decline in profits.



  • Reputation is important for a quality leader. If you have a reputation for being a hardnosed, detailed orientated, assertive go-getter who still listens to others ideas and values and recognizes a job well done, that’s not necessarily a bad reputation. Actually,  some people thrive under that type of leadership. However, if you have a reputation for being a self serving, obnoxious, intolerant, tyrannical leader then most likely your bad reputation will precede you. If you have a bad reputation, good luck attracting the best and brightest talent to want to follow you and help you succeed.


Now, we all know bullies exist in the workplace, some may have been bullies on the bus and some may have become bullies as they escalated in their careers. Regardless, I’m sure you’ve most likely encountered one or more in your professional career.

So how do you deal with a workplace bully?

You deal with a workplace bully in much the same way you deal with anyone else who pushes your hot buttons – and for those details, I’ll direct you to our previous article: Are Your Buttons Getting Pushed? 3 Tips On What You Can Do.

 

Though in a nutshell:

  • Breathe: Yes, I know we all do that anyway, but I mean really breathe. Just stop and take a few of those yoga style deep breathes.



  • Communication: I know you’re probably thinking – well of course I communicate. Yes, we all do, both verbally and non- verbally. We also all have distinctive communication styles and preferences.  In short, if you feel your buttons getting pushed as someone is communicating with you, tell them.



  • Feedback: Giving and receiving feedback is imperative to making sure your hot buttons don’t get pushed, and is imperative to helping to not push others – it’s a cycle.  And per these kids who think bullying others is cool – they won’t think it’s so cool when it’s the ones they’re bullying who grow up to be the quality leaders they report to in the workplace!


“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”

~ Jim Rohn

And per Ms. Karen Klein – I certainly hope she uses some of that money everyone’s been sending her to start an anti-bullying non-profit organization – after all she is now in position to help shape some of the future quality leaders of tomorrow, and we can never have to many of those!

* As an update: It seems that the kids involved have in fact received punishment.  As of June 30th, they received one-year suspensions from school and regular bus transportation, they will be transferred to the district Reengagement Center, and will also be required to complete 50 hours of community service with senior citizens and must take part in a formal bullying prevention program.


* As another update: Harassed bus monitor starts anti-bullying foundation


About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Leadership is…



Part One in a Summer Series on Creating a High Performing Organization: 

We’ll share our thoughts, though we also prefer to hear from you, so share your opinion !

According to our marketing partner, Preactive Marketing, the phrase “leadership is” has over 6 million global monthly searches.  This indicates there is a growing interest in the topic and in learning to become a better leader.

So, how would you finish the phrase leadership is

I would finish it something like this:

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."


- Dwight Eisenhower


Thanks for the words of wisdom Ike. Leaders can’t lead without followers - or as I like to call them - implementers and doers. So, how does a leader get someone to do something because he/she wants it done?

  • Transparency Be transparent. People can usually tell when “something is up.” So before the rumors begin flying and productivity is impacted, communicatewith your employees. When making strategic decisions, determining organizational changes, or facing issues that impact employees, successful leaders need to be transparent with their workforce about how these matters arose, their thought process for dealing with them, and how their solutions may directly impact those they lead.



  • Trust Create a safe and trusting environment. Trust is a fundamental behavior for any relationship, both personal and professional. According to a study by the Hay Group, a global management consultancy, there are 75 key components of employee satisfaction (Lamb & McKee, 2009). They found that: Trust and confidence in top leadership was the single most reliable predictor of employee satisfaction in an organization. Trust must be earned. Leaders can earn employee trust by helping employees understand the company’s overall business strategy, informing them how they contribute to achieving key business goals, and sharing information with employees on both how the company is doing and how an employee’s own performance is relative to organizational objectives. It is much easier for employees to trust a leader that shows an interest in them.



  • Self Awareness Be self aware. Successful leaders have a heightened level of self-awareness, they have an understanding of themselves, their behaviors and actions, and how those behaviors and actions are interpreted by, and directly impact, employees. A good example of leadership self-awareness is exhibited in the U.S. Army’s leadership philosophy of “be, know, do.” Be proficient and competent, know yourself and your strengths and weaknesses, and do take responsibility and lead by example. Always be open to further growth and learning. Professional coaching is also a great well to help further develop leader self-awareness.


You see…leadership is a facet of business that is imperative to succeeding.

"The quality of leadership, more than any other single factor, determines the success or failure of an organization."
- Fred Fiedler & Martin Chemers


So be a quality leader – one who people trust, respect, and want to follow!

If you’re looking for leadership training for yourself or for your organization – contact us by Friday, June 29th and mention this blog - we’ll take 15% off the offering that best fits your needs.

About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.

Email | Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Blog | Facebook


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*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of  any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of Tolero Solutions and the author.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Raise Your Hand if Your Organization Can Improve Employee Development & Recognition!

Part One in a Summer Series on How to Improve your Performance: 


So how many of you raised your hand? It’s ok, we can’t see you – go ahead, be honest.  If we were to ask your employees if they feel your organization can improve employee development and learning and increase recognition– how many would raise their hand?


One of the most overlooked yet important assets a company has is their people.  If you don’t take care of the people – your long term goals are unlikely to be met – and you may never see how far you can really go with your business.


Reasons to improve employee development and learning:




  • Most people want to learn. They want to be challenged. The more you can provide opportunities for them to do so, the more likely they are to remain engaged. The more engaged the workforce, the higher performing they are, the higher performing they are the more innovation and revenue are likely to increase.



  • When people acquire new knowledge they find of value, they usually have a desire to apply that knowledge, and to share it with others. Not only does this increase organizational learning, it also helps increase team performance, via knowledge sharing and communication.



  • When your people feel they can learn and grow with your organization, and they feel their knowledge and contributions are valued, then they are less likely to look for a job elsewhere.


“An organization’s ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly,

is the ultimate competitive advantage.” 

– Jack Welch

 

Ok – so this is great, you say.  But how do I focus more on my people?



3 quick ways to improve employee development and learning:




  • Ask your employees what they want. What types of knowledge and learning opportunities can help them better perform their jobs? What types of knowledge and learning opportunities make them feel challenged as individuals? Collect the data and act on it. Offer options based on employee input. One of the quickest ways to increase performance is to increase engagement.



  • Provide for peer to peer learning. Brown bag lunch and learns, webinars – take advantage of various formats available for employees to share knowledge and interests with others who may benefit. Providing employees the opportunity to transfer knowledge increases an employee’s communication skills, and is an easy way to provide recognition and make them feel valued.



  • Understand your needs and admit you don’t know what you don’t know. If specific learning and development is requested by employees, and is of value to the organization, and you don’t have the capability in house to deliver, then look outside. Partner with other organizations on learning and development offerings or bring in an outside resource.  (Not to toot our horn, though c’mon it is our blog, Tolero Solutions can help with designing learning and development programs and delivering employee recognition strategies – contact us for a free evaluation)


“Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.” – W. Edwards Deming

 


Ok – so we know your attention span is short this time of year, particularly if you have a pool or beach nearby, so we’ll keep this short. We just covered one area to look at that will help improve your performance - employee development and recognition.  Our next installment will be about retention and engagement.

 

Need help implementing improvement strategies?  Have questions or comments? Contact us today to learn how Tolero Solutions can help you become a high performing organization!


About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.


Email | Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Blog | Facebook


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*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of  any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of Tolero Solutions and the author.

Friday, June 1, 2012

How to Create and Honor a Culture of Employee Development

Earlier this week I attended a not so typical awards ceremony - The Apollo Awards, hosted by Helios HR and Smart CEO. As I think the concept of the awards is of value, and the vibe of the event was energizing – particularly for being held before 8am – here is a little free positive PR from someone who also works to help organizations develop, engage and retain employees.


The Helios Apollo Awards recognize Washington-area organizations that promote employee growth and development as an integral part of their organizational culture. Participating organizations recognize these programs are not only necessary in providing them a competitive advantage, but that they contribute to employee retention by developing strong managers and providing meaningful projects, credibility through enhanced certifications, and succession planning through promotional opportunities. Their efforts not only benefit the end client, but the individual and the community as well.

As a small business owner, and Organizational Development practitioner, I value the importance of positive organizational cultures. Many organizations find employee growth and development a daunting task, and are not sure where to begin in designing processes and programs that contribute to employee growth and development, and thus increase engagement and performance. When Tolero Solutions works with clients, we often help them with retention and engagement issues and stress the huge difference employee development can make in creating a productive, profitable and high performing organization.

“The Five Commandments of Effective Employee Development:

1. THOU SHALT BE A VISIBLE LEARNER

2. THOU SHALT TREAT ALL INDIVIDUALS INDIVIDUALLY

3. THOU SHALT FIND YOUR OWN VOICE

4. THOU SHALT SEE THINGS AS THEY OUGHT TO BE

5. THOU SHALT MODEL THE MODEL”

- (unknown author)

According to a study by the Corporate Executive Board:

  • Employees of managers who are very effective at development can outperform their peers by up to 25%

  • Organizations that focus on employee development have employees who are 40% more likely to stay with the organization

  • Managers who focus on employee development have employees that are 8% better at responding to change than those who don’t place the same focus



Focusing on employee development does have a direct impact on organizational performance. A few simple things you can do to help develop, engage and retain your employees:

  • ASK your employees about their learning and development needs – and take action

  • Reevaluate and ramp up organizational communications

  • Implement peer learning options

  • Diversify and customize employee training and learning opportunities

  • Have realistic performance goals tied to growth and development

  • Recognize, recognize, recognize!


Seeing so many businesses of various sizes and industries succeed as models in developing and engaging their employees was, well, quite inspirational. I look forward to the event next year. My congratulations goes out to all the finalists and award winners. I thank them for partly reminding me why I do the work I do by serving as a positive example of what can be achieved by focusing on an organizations number one asset – and I’ve said this beforepeople!

About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.

Email | Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Blog | Facebook

________________________________________________________________________________

*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of  any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of Tolero Solutions and the author.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

J.C. Penney – During Times of Change – Funny Commercials Aren’t Good Enough!

After a full on rebranding, new strategic direction, and massive organizational changes designed to reinvent the retailer and improve profits - J.C. Penney suffered a dismal 1st quarter. A lot exists for shareholders and stakeholders to be frustrated about – and much of it relates to organizational development and leadership (or poor leadership).

CEO Ron Johnson did have a vision - to get rid of the nonstop product promotions at the store and move to three kinds of prices (everyday, monthly specials, and clearance). He announced new designer partnerships and a new spokeswoman and advertising star, Ellen DeGeneres. He also introduced a new logo, and new color-saturated advertisements that barely mention price. Within four years, he said, the stores would be completely redone, each divided into about 100 small boutiques with a service center that he called “town square.” Ron has vision - but what he lacks is thoughtful and holistic understanding and execution.

*Update: As of June 18th, 2012 J. C. Penney Company, Inc. ousted its JCPenney brand president, Michael Francis, who oversaw the retailer's merchandising and marketing operations, with a terse statement that "We thank Michael for his hard work at jcpenney and wish him the best in his future endeavors."

Before leaders begin making organizational changes, no matter what successful past experience at other organizations may lead them to believe - it is necessary to collect current organizational data – data from stakeholders, data from employees, and most importantly, data from customers. Change can’t be rushed. It is said by some that a transformational change such as the one Penney’s is undertaking can take an average of 7 years – yup, you heard that correctly. Change isn’t easy folks, and doing it right takes time – just look at Pier 1.


So – just a few things (I have quite a list but I’ll spare all the details for now as I wouldn’t want to sound like a preachy CEO) Mr. Johnson should have done prior to jumping on the “turnaround CEO” bandwagon:

  • Data: It’s extremely difficult to turn around an organization for the better if you don’t have a recent understanding of what “better” means. Now I’m not talking about just financial numbers, web traffic, etc. as I’m sure plenty of that was collected and analyzed. I’m talking about direct from the consumer’s mouth data. Before revising pricing methods and slashing merchandise promotions, ask customers how they would feel if prices were lowered all the time across the board. It doesn’t necessarily matter if customers “get” your pricing as long as they’re happy with the price, product, and service. Perhaps some customers prefer the feeling of getting a bargain, maybe they enjoy coupons (as evidenced recently in this case), perhaps they don’t like receiving a large number of promotional e-mails and ads but a few specifically targeted to their personal buying habits…point here is you don’t know what the customer wants unless you ask them – so take the time to collect data on your customers needs, wants and desires and don’t just assume you (cough: the leader) knows best!



  • People: It’s imperative your employees have a solid understanding of why changes are taking place and how the changes impact them. Communicate with the workforce.  Not just so they have an understanding of how the change impacts them, but also so you can build their commitment to the process.  Employee commitment is imperative to maintain high performance and customer satisfaction during times of change. Penney’s employees, particularly the sales associates, were accustomed to a certain way of doing their jobs – selling and dealing with merchandise price cuts and promotions and customer service – in certain ways. They learned how to make a commission, when to push items, and when not to.


"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."
- Dwight Eisenhower


Personal example – I bought a massage power recliner from J.C. Penney. When I first saw it listed online it was one price, when I went into the store to actually see it in person it was a different price. When I didn’t commit that day the sales associate gave me his card. I called him back a week or so later and the chair was miraculously over $150 cheaper with free shipping – if I came in to purchase that week. The sales associate knew the pricing system, he knew the price would be lowered, and he knew he could offer me free shipping as the price would probably be lowered yet again in a few more days. I felt like I got a good deal, I got my chair same day, and he made his commission of a higher amount. I was a happy customer and he was a satisfied sales associate.

If changes in process and procedures are going to occur that impact the day to day of how employees perform their jobs, then not only do you want to communicate those changes and ask for feedback – you also want to make sure you provide any needed training so they can succeed. Otherwise performance suffers, retention suffers, customer service declines, and shareholders don’t end up happy.

  • Accountability: Mr. Johnson seems to be coming off like a stereotypical ivory tower CEO. Not an in touch and transparent leader. From what I’ve seen, his attitude regarding the current earnings announcement was a bit disingenuous. In typical financial fashion, the numbers were manipulated to try and sound somewhat positive. Oh Ron, just own it! Be a grown up, be an honest, transparent, accountable, and authentic leader. Acknowledge that things aren’t going exactly as planned – and don’t whine and make excuses - but let us know you see it too, and tell us the steps you plan to take to reevaluate and improve. That’s what builds trust in a leader - and in my experience trust in leadership can usually be correlated to high performing organization with committed employees, loyal customers, and increased performance (I really should do a study on that, if anyone knows of one please share!)


I do enjoy the new J.C. Penney commercials, but I’d enjoy shopping there a lot more if I knew the retailer had honest, transparent, committed, accountable leadership who elicited and acted on customer, stakeholder and employee feedback – but hey, that’s just me.

"Lead and inspire people. Don't try to manage and manipulate people. Inventories can be managed but people must be led."
- Ross Perot


About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.

Email | Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Blog | Facebook

________________________________________________________________________________

*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of  any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of Tolero Solutions and the author.


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Dear GSA: 7 Steps on How to Conduct Teambuilding for Under $823,000!

Anyone who has ever been part of a team can most likely tell you it’s not always easy forming the team and working together effectively. Structure, process, culture, politics, personality…teams are complicated. And if you’ve ever tried to better the working relationships of team members you probably know, that although not an easy task, that it doesn’t take $823,000 to establish functional high performance. I mean seriously, GSA, seriously! I’ve been to Vegas, for business and for fun, and trust me, both can be done enjoyably and efficiently on a reasonable budget. So, here are 7 stages to how to increasing team performance - for under $823,000:





  • Orientation:  When teams are forming – members usually wonder – why am I here? Where do I fit? What is my role? Will others accept me? They require some kind of answers before continuing. Before proceeding with the work of the team, it’s necessary to define purpose and team identity. If these things go unresolved then the team can often begin with disorientation, fear, and uncertainty.



  • Trust Building: People want to know about one another – who are you?  Team members want to know who they will work with, and what their expectations, agendas and competencies are, as well as communication styles, personalities, and work preferences. This occurs through sharing – sharing and a free exchange of feelings and ideas among team members lead to building trust. Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. If trust is not established then honesty, accountability, and respect don’t exist.



  • Goal Clarification: As work begins to get done -  team members need to know – what are we doing? This starts with clarity about team goals and assumptions, what are the tasks and priorities to be accomplished, and includes the development of a team charter or vision. If goal clarification doesn’t occur, shared vision isn’t formed and skepticism and apathy can occur.



  • Commitment: As the work of the team progresses - team members often wonder – how will we do it?  At some point, discussions need to end, and decisions must be made on how the work is going to be achieved. How will risks and issues be managed? What resources are required for success, and how will resources, time and staff be managed?  Without commitment, assigned roles and responsibilities, a clear decision making process, and proper resource allocation, high performance can be difficult to achieve.



  • Implementation:  Eventually teams will turn a corner as they begin to sequence work and complete tasks and deliverables. Teams will have determined – who does what, when and where? This is a time of scheduling and a time of action. Clear processes have been defined, alignment is in place, and disciplined task execution is underway. The team has now begun to move from creating to sustaining.



  • High Performance: When the above methods and processes are mastered, the team has begun to achieve flexibility. The team can now begin to adapt goals and tasks as needed for success, and can agilely respond to the environment and internal and external factors. The team members have prevented overload, disharmony and dysfunction, and have developed a synergy and achieved a successful working relationship. At this stage the team can pat themselves on back and proudly begin to surpass expectations on the way to high performance.



  • Renewal:  Teams are complex and dynamic. Teams consist of people, and people can get tired or burnt out. Sometimes team members can wonder – why continue? To prevent burn out and boredom, it’s necessary at this stage for recognition and celebration of success.  And it’s time to make any changes in skills mastery and roles and responsibilities, reflect on best practices, and harvest lessons learned in preparation for the next cycle of action.


“To promote cooperation and team work, remember, people tend to resist that which is forced upon them. People tend to support that which they helped create.” - Vince Pfaff


 
So while reflecting on your own team, rest assured you don’t need a budget of $823,000 to become high performing. Though some investment in team building is necessary to ensure your goals are being met.  Have you ever been part of dysfunctional team? Have you ever been part of high performing team? What made the difference? Need help on where to start or with increasing your team performance? Contact us to learn more about how we can help.

 

*Based on the Drexler/Sibbet Team Performance Model methodology.


About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.

Email | Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Blog | Facebook

________________________________________________________________________________

*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of  any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of Tolero Solutions and the author.


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Are Your Buttons Getting Pushed? 3 Tips On What You Can Do.




We all have hot buttons and triggers - those little things (or sometimes big things) that just get us so upset they make our blood boil.  They can often cause us to flip our lid – and they happen in both our personal lives and our professional lives. You may yell at your children, you may yell at spouse or your partner (please, we all do it), but rarely can you yell at your boss or your co-workers. I just got a flashback to the 80’s movie Nine to Five, but I digress. So, regardless of what your hot buttons may be (and trust me, figuring out what they are and why is never easy), there are some ways you can respond if they do get pushed.





    • Breathe: Yes, I know we all do that anyway, but I mean really breathe. Just stop and take a few of those yoga style deep breathes. Long breaths in through the nose - hold it - out through the mouth. This is a first step in calming yourself down…really it works...even for folks as high strung as my father (it’s ok; his hot buttons won’t get pushed. He doesn’t read my online “articles”). Now I know, it’s not always possible to just stop in the middle of a conversation or conflict and close your eyes and take deep breathes, so if you need to wait until the interaction ends first, that’s fine. Just make sure before you start stewing over what just transpired that you take a moment to do this – and if you can go for a walk even better.



 


    • Communication: I know you’re probably thinking – well of course I communicate. Yes, we all do, both verbally and non- verbally. We also all have distinctive communication styles and preferences. Our signals and queues can be interpreted differently than we intend, and we can interpret them differently from others than they may intend. That means that often our impact and our intent when communicating with one another can be a bit misaligned. One way to try and prevent that misalignment and thus your hot buttons being pushed, deal with issues when they occur.  Stop the interaction, mention the hot buttons and concerns, provide feedback and ask for clarification. In short, if you feel your buttons getting pushed as someone is communicating with you, tell them.  You could calmly say for example “…Excuse me (name), I’m feeling myself getting a bit upset with what you’re saying to me…”  You can also raise an observation “…you know (name) I noticed that you kept rolling your eyes when I was speaking and muttering, were you aware of that? Is there something you want to chat about?”  In addition, share your communications styles and preferences with others and ask them about theirs.  For example, do you prefer short and sweet? Do you prefer email to phone? Do you like lots of facts or little details? I know what you may be thinking, and yes, be prepared that in some cases the other party may simply not acknowledge you at all or tell you no or they don’t care…but you’ll never know unless you try.



 

  • Feedback: Giving and receiving feedback is imperative to making sure your hot buttons don’t get pushed, and is imperative to helping to not push others – it’s a cycle.  If you want someone to know that their behaviors and actions are upsetting to you, then you need to let them know. You also need to let them know why you're upset and how that makes you feel. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying “…I think what I hear you saying is abc, is that correct…?” or “…you know (name) when you say things like that it really makes me feel frustrated.” Or “…When I hear/see you do/say _______ it makes me feel _______ because ________.”


 


A few other tips to prevent your head from exploding off your shoulders…




Now, this is not to say that your hot buttons are never going to be pushed – of course they are - it’s a part of life.  Hopefully with a bit more awareness around how to manage yourself in situations when they do get pushed, life may just seem a bit easier.  Who knows, your relationships may even improve and your blood pressure may even drop.


About Scott Span, MSOD: is President of Tolero Solutions Organizational Development & Change Management firm.  He helps clients to facilitate sustainable growth by developing people and organizations to be more responsive, focused, productive and profitable.

Email | Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Blog | Facebook

________________________________________________________________________________

*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of  any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of Tolero Solutions and the author.